What do you think when you’re asked, “What’s your favorite book?”
My answer: I haven’t read it yet. I’m still looking.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve read (and reread) some brilliant books I adore. I’ve stitched them together patchwork-style to make up a quilt of favorites-so-far, but I can’t pinpoint a solo favorite square.
That patchwork—a California King—includes titles like The Little Prince, Splitting an Order, How to Read a Poem, Poetry 180, Radiance, Anne of Green Gables, The House on Mango Street, Rumors of Water, Crafting the Personal Essay, Persuasion, Pride and Prejudice, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lord of the Rings, and many more.
How much longer will it get before I read The One? Or will I?
Do you have a favorite book? I’m curious as to how people choose. Did it stir up, clarify, or satiate some of your deepest ruminations? Is it a witty, wise, and relatable voice that feels like a best friend in print? Or is it something else entirely?
Of course, I don’t have to lay claim to a favorite book. But the fact that I can’t name one has me thinking, and the possibility of someday reading it intrigues me. I have questions, not the least of which is if I’m sure I don’t have a favorite. Am I just being indecisive?
Growing up, I was known for being the last one to choose an entree off the menu. Even at fast food joints. I remember feeling like it was such a treat to eat out that I wanted to make the most of the opportunity. Okay, Bethany, what if this is the last time you ever eat at a restaurant? Do not blow this: Nuggets, or cheeseburger?
But with books, I don’t think my trouble is in the choosing. It’s more a difficulty in pinpointing what I’m reaching out for in this season of my life.
When someone else names their favorite title and explains how they came to choose it, what does that say to me?
It says they are sure about something, that book connects to them. It seems to illuminate some aspect of their identity, journey, or perspective—so it might be one key to more fully understanding them.
What if we all took the time to ask each other, “What’s your favorite book?” What might we learn? How would it affect the way we listen to others?
For those of us who haven’t found it yet, maybe we could try answering:
What kind of book am I hoping to read?
What would it include or exclude?
What am I wanting to read about this world or my wishes for it that I haven’t already read?
I’m still mulling that over. There may always be an open space in my patchwork for one more square to be added. I’ll keep reading, hoping an artist can fill in for me what I can’t quite articulate myself. In the end, perhaps my anthology-quilt itself can be my favorite book.
Photo by Kitty Terwolbeck, Creative Commons license via Flickr. Post and photos by Bethany Rohde.
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Glynn says
Bethany – I don’t know if it’s possible for me to pick a favorite book. In fact, I know it’s not. But I can pick books that had a profound influence on, that I’ve read and reread and would read again. I’ve read LOTR and The Hobbit three times. Ditto for Great Expectations and David Copperfield. I first read Don Quixote as a senior in high school, and I read it again in my 30s – it had turned into a different book!
Other books I loved: The Habit of Being: The Letters of Flannery O’Connor; They Stand Together: The Letters of C.S. Lewis and Arthur Greeves; Augustine of Hippo by Peter Brown; Scott Berg’s biography of Maxwell Perkins, Editor of Genius; A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole; Keepers of the House by Shirley Ann Grau; The War of the End of the World and Conversations in the Cathedral by Mario Vargas Llosa; The Death of Artemio Cruz by Carlos Fuentes; All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr; Laurus by Eugene Vodolazkin; October Light by John Gardner; and popular novels like Summer of Light by Dale Cramer and The Club Dumas by Arturo Perez-Reverte. And Solzhenitsyn’s The First Circle. And The Source by James Michener. And, and, and….
I think what happens is that certain books, read at particular times in our lives, resonate so much that they become part of us.
Bethany R. says
Happy you shared this, Glynn. Yes, I think you’re right. Timing has a great deal to do with what resonates and what we absorb. For the last few years I have been on a hunt for books that are both humorous and substantive. Any suggestions?
L.L. Barkat says
Humorous and substantive, on any topic?
Bethany Rohde says
I’ll take suggestions on any topic. Thank you!
L.L. Barkat says
It’s interesting to consider what underlies the “favorite book” choice. Perhaps one can have favorite books in categories.
For instance, my favorite “become who you really are” book is Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way.
My favorite “treat your brain well and it will treat you well” book is John Medina’s Brain Rules.
My favorite “this is why exercise will save your life” book is John Ratey’s Spark.
My favorite “this is what it takes to find yourself” poetry book is Adrienne Rich’s Dream of a Common Language.
My favorite “this is what it feels like to be an exile and still love the world” book is Mahmoud Darwish’s The Butterfly’s Burden.
For the “primacy of the image,” Anna Ahkmatova’s collected poetry.
For “this is what it means to live as a writer,” I had to write it myself, because while I loved Anne Lamott’s Bird by Bird for its freshness, it also felt (in many places) like an assault. And Annie Dillard’s The Writing Life was so original, but it made me feel almost lonely (and, also, in some places, it was too graphic, almost mean to the reader). (Perhaps, Bethany, the book you are waiting for needs to be written by you… 🙂 )
There are many more, in many other categories.
I suppose, for the sheer number of times I’ve read it, Julia’s The Artist’s Way might win the prize. Yet? I would never say it’s my favorite book.
Megan Willome says
“It seems to illuminate some aspect of their identity, journey, or perspective—so it might be one key to more fully understanding them.” Agreed. If you want to know me and have any hope of understanding me, read E.B. White’s “Charlotte’s Web.” Not only is it my favorite book, but I think it is the Great American Novel.
I spent the final week of the Through the Looking Glass workshop making my case. The participants might not have agreed with me, but the point was to get them to take it as seriously as they would any novel. And then they taught me things about the book I loved and helped me love it even more.
P.S. We read “The House on Mango Street” in the workshop and touched on “Pride & Prejudice.”
Bethany Rohde says
What a rich workshop, Megan.
I started to read Charlotte’s Web and was enjoying it until another family member nabbed it off the coffee table. (He loved it, by the way.) 😉 I often enjoy reading E.B. White’s essays (just read the one on Professor Strunk last night, actually) and would love to finish reading about Fern and Charlotte.
Laura Willis says
Charlotte’s Web.
Best book ever. My very favorite. Just like Megan, if you want to know me, you must know this book. Friendship, family, love, home, compassion, loss—White addresses it all beautifully under the guise of a children’s book.
Never hurry and never worry.
Bethany says
I’ve got to read it. Thank you for this, Laura!
Megan Willome says
Preach, Laura!
Bethany Rohde says
I just finished reading Charlotte’s Web last night. What richness. I’m going to write out some of the lines that most resonated with me. (And I have to say, Charlotte reminds me of someone I know at Tweetspeak Poetry.)
Thank you for sharing and spurring me on to read your favorite book, Megan, and Laura. I would love to read from others’ lists as well.
Bethany Rohde says
Thanks for this, L.L. Yes, breaking down favorites by category feels more doable. I love that last line in your comment. You’ve read it the most amount of times, “Yet? I would never say it’s my favorite book.”
Donna says
The quilt grows and grows! I see it draping off the bed and up over chairs, equipped underneath with pillows and flashlights (and possibly a bowl of M & Ms) for the search!
Great piece!
Bethany Rohde says
Love that visual, Donna! Thank you for reading and for this comment.
(P.S. I like your nod to our other Poetry Barista sister who’s a fan of those chocolates. 😉 )
Donna Falcone says
I didn’t know I had a favorite book, but after thinking about it I have decided my favorite book is Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear, by Elizabeth Gilbert. This, to me, is a book I ‘took’ (like a class) rather than ‘read.’ It’s lessons and insights are part of me now.
Will Willingham says
I’m not sure I have a favorite book either. I have had favorites at certain times, knowing that they may not be favorites later on.
Growing up it was the Chronicles of Narnia, which I actually just stumbled on mid-series. (I happened on The Silver Chair while looking for a book to read at the library in 3rd grade, and the librarian gave me quite a hard time about it, not thinking it was at grade level for me. As with so many things, I read it to prove her wrong. And then discovered the rest, and read them all too.)
I don’t remember what took their place, but through high school and college and much of adulthood, I tended toward only reading Very Serious Books, of which I really do not recall any favorites. Which is a bit of a tragedy, I think, which I’ve sought to remedy in the last few years. If you ask me today, at the top of my list are The Captain’s Verses (Neruda), The Dream of a Common Language (Rich), A General Theory of Love (some scientists whose names escape me), and A Little Life (Yanagihara). I keep thinking maybe one day I’ll find that one favorite. But somehow, I doubt it. 🙂
Thanks for starting such a thoughtful conversation. 🙂
Bethany Rohde says
“I have had favorites at certain times, knowing that they may not be favorites later on.” Cool that you had that awareness, LW. Did that come with age, or could you tell even as a kid if something might not always be your favorite?
I think it took me a long time to realize that even if I felt passionate about something at one point, that might cool off a bit down the road.
Will Willingham says
I’m not sure when I knew that. Probably after having a few favorites not be favorites anymore and being a little surprised by that. 🙂
I left off my current favorites before: The Tale of Despereaux, The Wild Swans, and Rebecca Solnit’s The Faraway Nearby.
Bethany Rohde says
Glad you shared these, LW. 🙂
Laura Brown says
FAVORITE BOOKS
I agree that “favorite book” is often related to when we read it. And I’m thinking about categories, as Laura said, or other questions within this question:
What book(s) …
1. Can I still quote sentences from years later, words I memorized without even trying to, possibly because the clay of memory was still soft, possibly because the sentences were written so well?
2. Have I read many times?
3. Will I always want to possess, no matter how minimalistically I purge my library?
4. Have I often given as a gift?
5. Has spent the most time riding in my backpack / purse / bookbag?
6. Changed me the most (changed my mind, changed my life)?
7. Opened itself to me right when I needed it?
8. Made me want to write like that?
9. Do I simply love?
Some of mine would be Harriet the Spy (Louise Fitzhugh), Holy the Firm (Annie Dillard), Charlotte’s Web and the essays of E.B. White, The Principles of Uncertainty (Maira Kalman), Oil Notes (Rick Bass), “The People” books by Zenna Henderson, Dinner at the Homesick Restaurant (Anne Tyler), The Niagara River (Kay Ryan), The Supper of the Lamb (Robert Farrar Capon), Home Cooking (Laurie Colwin) … This list would be different tomorrow. Or even tonight. But some would be constant.
I see that a lot of the books that come to mind are things I read years ago, when books stuck in memory better than they do now.
Bethany Rohde says
Love your thoughtful questions and potential criteria, Laura. And I have to say “the clay of memory was still soft” is such a beautiful description.
Thank you for sharing your list of dearest books too. I feel like I am getting to know folks a touch more by even reading their list of favorite titles (knowing those favorites may change from day to day).
Rick Maxson says
I keep going back to books I loved, and I suppose that makes them favorites. The reasons I love them have to do with what they say, as well as how they say it.
One Hundred Years of Solitude by Marquez I’ve read at least four times for its story, language and imagery.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig ‘ve read three times and referenced it more than that. I’ve always thought it should be required reading for any ethics or philosophy class in college.
The Immense Journey by Loren Eiseley has to be a favorite to fell inspired and awed by the natural world.
I happened to read The Phenomenon of Man by Pere Teilhard de Chardin shortly after Eiseley’s book above. It has always been a favorite for inspiration.
Also inspiring is The Bridge Between Matter and Spirit Is Matter Becoming Spirit by the architect Paolo Soleri, who developed the eco-city of Arcosanti in Arizona in the 1970s.
I would recommend Undaunted Courage by Stephen E. Ambrose to anyone. We all read about Lewis and Clark, but I never knew much about how that amazing expedition.
I read a book for an art history class in college called The Banquet Years by Roger Shatuk about advances in art in France from the late 1800s to WW I. The book centered around the writer Alfred Jarry, The painter Henri Rousseau, Erik Satie the composer, and the poet Guillaume Apollinaire. The time period came up in conversation last year so I bought it again and read it.
There are several poets I read as a challenge, ever evolving into an understanding of them: Wallace Stevens; Brenda Hillman’s series: Loose Sugar, Cascadia, Practical Water, Pieces of Air in the Epic, and Seasonal Works with Letters on Fire; James Merrill’s poetry is another.
More accessible poets I enjoy and read often are William Stafford, Robert Frost, Emily Dickinson, and Rilke.
I don’t seem to have much time lately to read novels. So I have no recent favorites.
Bethany Rohde says
So glad you shared this, Richard, thank you. Admirable that you read some poets to challenge yourself. I do tend to stick to accessible ones.
I’m interested in the Lewis and Clark expedition, so thank you for the recommendation of Undaunted Courage. I might be able to chime in with some extra information when my kids study it.
Josh P says
are you on Goodreads? i find it a good platform to connect with others on a literary level, and on there i have a “bookshelf” of my favourite books. if i had to select a top handful:
The Divine Invasion, by Philip K Dick
Life Itself (a memoir), by Roger Ebert
Love and Living, by Thomas Merton
The Complete Stories, by Flannery O’ Connor
Bethany Rohde says
I’m happy you shared some of your favorite books, Josh. I haven’t read them yet, but they sound interesting.
Thanks for reading this and leaving your thoughts. I’m not on Goodreads at this point, but you’ve given me something to think about. 🙂
Josh P says
😀
Debra Hale-Shelton says
My favorite books also vary by the year and time I’m asked. But two that have long stood out for me are Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale and Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree. I rarely read a book twice. I first read Atwood’s novel shortly after it was published. More recently, I listened to it as an audible book. It meant more to me now that I’m older than it did years ago. Silverstein’s book is among the few that made me cry. It spoke far more to me than it did to my daughter when I read it to her as a toddler.
Other books on my favorites list include Anne Patchett’s Bel Canto, which has been performed as an opera in Chicago and is to be adapted into film; Roxanne Gay’s memoir Hunger, which helped me understand some of my own anger; Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, perhaps the best memoir I’ve ever read; Anne Tyler’s Saint Maybe, which speaks to how one thoughtless action can change many lives; and Laurie Colwin’s Home Cooking and More Home Cooking, the books that turned me on to food literature. I suspect I’ll be adding Elena Ferrante’s Neapolitan books to the list next year, but not until I’ve read more than the series’ first book.
Bethany Rohde says
Thank you for leaving this comment, Debra. I also love The Giving Tree and haven’t been able to read it without tearing up. My kids wonder why. In fact, last week we cleaned out my daughter’s bookshelf in preparation for a garage sale. She was ready to part with it, but I wasn’t. It’s now lives on my bookshelf.
Do you mind if I ask what stood out to you about Joan Didion’s memoir? I haven’t read it.
Debra Hale-Shelton says
It’s been a few years since I read the book, so I don’t remember many details. But Didion was writing about her grief after her husband’s sudden death. Then, her daughter died as well. She delved into the daughter’s illness some in that book as well but more so in a subsequent one which I also liked but not as much. The deaths happened close together, making things especially hard for Didion.
Amazingly, The Year of Magical Thinking was not depressing. If anything, it made me more compassionate, more understanding of my grief and that of others. The book seemed very honest to me. Maybe it was a way for Didion to help herself just as many of us use writing as therapy at times. I’ve since recommended the book to others, including a friend of mine whose wife died, though I waited several months before I mentioned it.
Bethany says
Thank you for explaining a bit about The Year of Magical Thinking and how it affected you. It can be quite difficult to find books that are a good fit while grieving (if one is looking). I’m glad you shared this.