Tweetspeak Poetry

  • Home
  • FREE prompts
  • National Poetry Month
  • Every Day Poems—Subscribe! ✨
  • Teaching Tools
  • Books, Etc.
  • Patron Love

Between Friends: Wordplay and Other Playful Bonds

By Laura Lynn Brown 11 Comments

friendship project

A poet friend sometimes sends the slightest of messages, a single word.

havoc

And I’ll offer one back.

                        hermetic

Weeks later, repeat.

scaffolding

                        sinews

Sometimes our call-and-response is more than a hand’s worth.

distillery, usher, lucent, tamarisk tree, spume, eel

                                                peen, hasp, smudge, aglet, philtrum, nape

Sometimes my one word elicits a list.

                        pelagic

compadre companion tandem resonance

                        amity abacus dolmathes avgolemono

I would call this my quietest perpetually present friendship. She and I go months without speaking, weeks without writing, but somehow a quiet presence abides. These wee word-lists are one of our bonds, a form of play I share with no one else.

Now that I think about it, there’s so much that is playful. First, to send just a word. It says both “I am thinking about this word” and “I am thinking about you.” It is, like the simplest definition of play, purely for enjoyment rather than toward a purpose. It expects nothing back, but it hopes. It wonders, “What will you make of this?” And the recipient responds — with surprise, with pleasure in receiving such an odd message, with gladness for the gift, and with reciprocity.

What word shall I give? The one most on my mind at the moment? Something alliterative? Same part of speech? Same degree of unusualness?

Sometimes these words make it into sentences and poems and paragraphs. But we rarely send those. Our exchanges feel a little like the times we’ve spent sitting in a tea shop or a living room together, reading, writing, working, mostly in companionable silence, grateful for each other’s presence.

If we analyzed all of our exchanges, we could probably discern some complex, unwritten but tacitly agreed-on rules and make it a game. That would squeeze the life out of it. It’s different every time (number of words, time of day, length of exchanges, whether it grows into conversation or is its own poetic sandwich embreaded by silence). Yet it’s the same (sort of like tossing a ball back and forth, if the ball were a large and unbreaking soap bubble, transparent, barely visible, moving at wobbly breath-speed rather than hand-toss velocity, pausing, hovering, waiting to be breath-blown back).

They come in texts, in private messages, on postcards (tautologous, pullulate, cantata). They give peeks into a mind at work and play, always wondering.

I’d guess there’s an element of play in all enduring friendships. In some of my friendships we send each other photos or links and sometimes gifts related to a shared enthusiasm (ALDI bargains, parades, chickens in the news). In others, playful teasing and shared jokes bind us and weave the fabric of our friendship stronger.

Perhaps this play is one of the things that determine whether an acquaintanceship will cross the invisible boundary into solid, for-keeps friendship. We don’t plan it or force it. It just happens. And even if the form of play is similar in some friendships, the texture of each is as distinct as a fingerprint.

To Discuss With Friends (Or Use in Personal Journaling)

1. What common elements of play do you see in your friendships? Is there a way you tend to be playful in friendship?

2. Think of specific enduring friendships and the elements that hold each one together. What playfulness is involved? Do you remember how this just-the-two-of-you play began or evolved?

3. What words, common phrases, shared jokes do you and a friend share?

4. How do you keep in playful contact with friends you might see only once a year or less?

5. Is silence a steadying or structural element in a friendship? How so?

_______________

If you choose to write about any of the above, feel free to come back and share a link to what you’ve written. If you don’t have an online writing space, then drop in an excerpt for our community to enjoy.

 

Photo by 白士 李, Creative Commons, via Flickr. Post by Laura Brown.

Browse more Friendship Project

  • Author
  • Recent Posts
Laura Lynn Brown
Laura Lynn Brown
A writing instructor at the University of Pittsburgh, Laura Lynn Brown is also an author, editor and writing coach who honed her writing and editing talents at The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Her work was named as a Notable Essay in the 2013 Best American Essays. Laura has an MFA in nonfiction from the University of Pittsburgh and is the author of Everything That Makes You Mom. Writing about her own place (Pittsburgh) is one of her great loves.
Laura Lynn Brown
Latest posts by Laura Lynn Brown (see all)
  • Pandemic Journal: An Entry on Pencil Balancing - August 4, 2020
  • Between Friends: Wordplay and Other Playful Bonds - July 25, 2019
  • The Power of Curiosity: “Can I Touch Your Hair?” by Irene Latham & Charles Waters - May 29, 2019

Filed Under: Blog, Friendship Project, Patron Only, Play

Get Every Day Poems...

About Laura Lynn Brown

A writing instructor at the University of Pittsburgh, Laura Lynn Brown is also an author, editor and writing coach who honed her writing and editing talents at The Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Her work was named as a Notable Essay in the 2013 Best American Essays. Laura has an MFA in nonfiction from the University of Pittsburgh and is the author of Everything That Makes You Mom. Writing about her own place (Pittsburgh) is one of her great loves.

Comments

  1. Bethany R. says

    July 25, 2019 at 12:12 pm

    clever light-footed mirth-sketch

    Reply
    • Laura Lynn Brown says

      July 25, 2019 at 12:26 pm

      notice respond hyphenate

      thanks

      Reply
  2. L.L. Barkat says

    July 25, 2019 at 5:58 pm

    I do believe this: “I’d guess there’s an element of play in all enduring friendships.”

    True play is a space-making activity. It’s also generative. Both seem vital for a lasting friendship. (Although I suppose there are cases where the friendship is more designed to keep something in check and prevent growth. I’m not sure I’d call that friendship, so much, though.)

    I think my favorite play tends to be mostly verbal. Other than that, it’s probably ritual that holds things together a little more than play. If I can make someone a cup of tea, that is what I’ll do. (This is one hard thing for me about online friendships. I tend to rely fairly heavily on silent rituals, and the requirement to put everything into words and to be *on* makes it less-than-optimal, at least for me. 🙂 Yet, here we are. 🙂

    Thanks for the glimpse of this friendship play of yours, Laura. 🙂 (The post should have a warning to come with a dictionary in hand. 😉 )

    Reply
    • Laura Lynn Brown says

      July 26, 2019 at 1:07 pm

      Thanks for bringing up the importance of ritual. Do you think a Venn diagram of friendship sustainers would have an overlap of ritual and play?

      There are probably exceptions, but I think true friendship requires some in-person time together. This friendship began in person and is renewed occasionally in person. Several times a year, the space around and between these and other written exchanges leads to a long phone call, where there’s more play, good questions, keen listening, analysis, laughter — the kind of talk that leads to growth, desires growth for each other, reflects growth back to each other. There are some objects that mark waypoints — a small notebook, a teapot, a blue blanket — and rituals, such as one of us leaving the door open for the other to come in for a morning of quiet writing together.

      I like that ritual of making tea. It speaks care.

      Reply
  3. Laura Willis says

    July 26, 2019 at 8:24 pm

    Long-distance improv.
    The answer is never “No”.
    Each exchange opens the door for a response.
    Lovely.

    Reply
    • Sandra Heska King says

      August 3, 2019 at 3:36 pm

      Yes.

      Doubly. Snugly. Cuddly. Smugly. Gruffly.

      Reply
  4. lynn__ says

    July 28, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    You mentioned chickens and I think of a friend who had pet chickens, Henry & Henrietta, in her backyard when we were kids. We share history, school memories, secrets, nicknames, and laughter…still do, long-distance with birthday gifts/cards/phone calls. Our calls usually end with the word, “shalom.”

    Reply
    • Sandra Heska King says

      August 3, 2019 at 3:30 pm

      Laura, we once had a Henry and Henrietta. We bought them (or maybe they were given to us) at the county fair. They turned into Henry I and Henry II.

      Reply
  5. Laurie Klein says

    July 29, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    Laura, what entertaining, empowering word volleys! Your delightful mutual practice reminds me a little of those little collages artists exchange: trading cards, I think they’re called.

    “We don’t plan it or force it. It just happens. And even if the form of play is similar in some friendships, the texture of each is as distinct as a fingerprint.”

    Had to look up pullulate. 🙂

    Reply
    • Sandra Heska King says

      August 3, 2019 at 4:01 pm

      I had to look it up, too. Interesting uses…

      Reply
  6. Bethany R. says

    May 14, 2021 at 11:53 pm

    I loved reading back over this delightful post & comments. Am mulling over your thoughtful question, “Is silence a steadying or structural element in a friendship?” Thanks for this, Laura, would like to read another one of your posts. 🙂

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Cute Comic

😊

The Sadbook Collections

A stick-figure human sure to capture your heart.

Take How to Read a Poem

Get the Introduction, the Billy Collins poem, and Chapter 1

get the sample now

Welcome to Tweetspeak

New to Tweetspeak Poetry? Start here, in The Mischief Café. You're a regular? Check out our March Menu.

Patron Love

❤️

Welcome a little patron love, when you help keep the world poetic.

Now a Graphic Novel!

"Stunning, heartbreaking, and relevant illustrations"

Callie Feyen, teacher

read a summary of The Yellow Wallpaper

meet The Yellow Wallpaper characters

Your Comments

  • Laurie Klein on Poems to Listen By: Black Bird Soirée 04—A Plausible Story
  • Bethany on Poems to Listen By: Black Bird Soirée 04—A Plausible Story
  • L.L. Barkat on 50 States of Generosity- New Jersey
  • 50 States of Generosity- New Jersey - Tweetspeak Poetry on Poetry at Work: The Doctor—William Carlos Williams

How to Write Poetry

Featured In

We're happy to have been featured in...

The Huffington Post

The Paris Review

The New York Observer

Tumblr Book News

Stay in Touch With Us

Categories

Coloring Page Poem Printables!

Get all free coloring page poems now

Learn to Write Form Poems

How to Write an Acrostic

How to Write a Ballad

How to Write a Catalog Poem

How to Write a Ghazal

How to Write a Haiku

How to Write an Ode

How to Write a Pantoum

How to Write a Rondeau

How to Write a Sestina

How to Write a Sonnet

How to Write a Villanelle

5 FREE POETRY PROMPTS

Get 5 FREE inbox poetry prompts from the popular book How to Write a Poem

Shakespeare Resources

Poetry Classroom: Sonnet 18

Common Core Picture Poems: Sonnet 73

Sonnet 104 Annotated

Sonnet 116 Annotated

Character Analysis: Romeo and Juliet

Character Analysis: Was Hamlet Sane or Insane?

Why Does Hamlet Wait to Kill the King?

10 Fun Shakespeare Resources

About Shakespeare: Poet and Playwright

Top 10 Shakespeare Sonnets

See all 154 Shakespeare sonnets in our Shakespeare Library!

Explore Work From Black Poets

About Us

  • • A Blessing for Writers
  • • Annual Theme 2022: Perspective
  • • Annual Theme 2021: Generous
  • • Our Story
  • • Meet Our Team
  • • Literary Citizenship
  • • Poet Laura
  • • Poetry for Life: The 5 Vital Approaches
  • • T. S. Poetry Press – All Books
  • • Contact Us

Write With Us

  • • 5 FREE Poetry Prompts-Inbox Delivery
  • • 30 Days to Richer Writing Workshop
  • • How to Write Form Poems-Infographics
  • • Poetry Club Tea Date
  • • Poetry Prompts
  • • Submissions

Read With Us

  • • All Our Books
  • • Book Club
  • • Every Day Poems—Subscribe! ✨
  • • Literacy Extras
  • • Poems to Listen By: Audio Series
  • • Poet-a-Day
  • • Poets and Poems
  • • 50 States Projects
  • • Charlotte Perkins Gilman Poems Library
  • • Edgar Allan Poe Poems Arts & Experience Library
  • • William Blake Poems Arts & Experience Library
  • • William Shakespeare Sonnet Library

Celebrate With Us

  • • Poem on Your Pillow Day
  • • Poetic Earth Month
  • • Poet in a Cupcake Day
  • • Poetry at Work Day
  • • Random Acts of Poetry Day
  • • Take Your Poet to School Week
  • • Take Your Poet to Work Day

Gift Ideas

  • • Every Day Poems
  • • Our Shop
  • • Everybody Loves a Book!

Connect

  • • Donate
  • • Blog Buttons
  • • By Heart
  • • Shop for Tweetspeak Fun Stuff

Copyright © 2023 Tweetspeak Poetry · FAQ, Disclosure & Privacy Policy

We serve poetry with our cookies. Because that's the way it should be.
We serve poetry with your cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you... accept the cookies with a smile.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie SettingsAccept
update cookie prefs

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
SAVE & ACCEPT