Writing Your Beach Metaphor
Suzy Lee’s Wave is a beautiful blue, white, and black wordless story that shows the wonders and treasures found on the oceanfront on a summer day. When I taught 8th grade, I used Wave as a way to study and play with metaphor. As my almost-freshmen made their way through their last days of grammar school, I held the picture book up and said, “Story time,” and they grinned nostalgically. (Let’s continue to have story time in middle and high school, don’t you agree?)
They enjoyed the delightful story, giggling and sighing at the little girl whose mother introduces her to the vastness of the beach and the ocean and then takes a few steps back, out of the scene, so it is just the girl and the ocean. “How is this like what will happen on the first day of high school?” I asked, and the room got quiet, and a seriousness fell like a kite that couldn’t find any wind to fly. “You’re not totally on your own,” I told them, “and neither is the little girl. The mama’s still there, but she’s letting the girl experience this new world for herself.”
And so they watched, as I took them, carefully, through the story, asking questions about the sea and the beach and the seashells. What could they all represent in regard to this next phase of their lives as students?
I handed out blue card stock, cotton balls, glue, and black Sharpies and asked my students to make a metaphor and then write about it (this was English class, after all). That exercise is also this week’s prompt.
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What’s a Metaphor?
A metaphor is a figure of speech that compares two things that aren’t the same but do have something in common. Metaphor differs from simile, where two things are compared directly using like or as, because it’s indirect and simply states that one thing is another thing.
Metaphor example
From one of my former students: “The clam takes a rock and pushes down on it for years. As hard it can, it pushes on an ugly, single, worthless rock. The clam itself is ugly too, but once the clam feels the rock is ready, it opens the rock up to the world. It reveals a beautiful, coveted pearl that the world would love to have. That’s what high school is. It matures the smallest rock by putting tons of pressure on it so it becomes so beautiful it’s ready for the world to see.”
Simile example
From another former student: “High school is like the waves. It might smack us down. It might overwhelm us. But it will leave us with treasure if we care to look.”
Try It
First, how about some art work? Make a beach metaphor with art supplies you have on hand. Blue crayons, computer paper, and pencils, or maybe you have some glitter that your children don’t know about. Then write your metaphor. This can be a poem or a fictional or non-fictional scene.
Maybe we’re not heading off to high school, but maybe we are starting a new phase of life. I’m two years into my forties, and so far they feel like I’m in a second adolescence. I’m trying on the word “author” for the first time and seeing how it fits (and what other names I’ve given myself that feel too restrictive or small now). My husband and I are a few months away from celebrating twenty years of marriage. There are lots of beach metaphors I could create.
Or perhaps you want to go back to high school. I’m sure there are a lot of treasures to be found, even if you have to wade into deeper water. Like I’ve told my students: Don’t be afraid. Have a good time digging around in the sand, figuring out how to body surf the waves and turning over seashells in your hand. We can’t wait to see what you will find.
Click to get FREE 5-Prompt Mini-Series
Featured Poem
Thanks to everyone who participated in our recent poetry prompt. Here’s one from Rick Maxson we enjoyed:
some night
in the deep country
where fireflies dance
with the stars
over black water
let them open the book
of silence for you
—Rick Maxson
Photo by Pacheco Creative Commons, via Flickr. Post by Callie Feyen, author of The Teacher Diaries: Romeo and Juliet.
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Donna Falcone says
Oh Callie… what a beautiful way to honor your students, and this difficult transition that is so often hard to talk about. I love metaphor…what a fun prompt! I am definitely going to chew on this and hope to come back with something to contribute. Can’t wait to see what comes out here on the page. 🙂
Callie Feyen says
Thank you, Donna. I love metaphor, too. And here’s a behind-the-scenes comment for you: this post helped me write my most recent post on my blog about L.L. Barkat’s new book, The Golden Dress. 🙂
Looking forward to reading what you come up with!
Donna Falcone says
🙂 Ooooo that’s interesting. I’m going back to read it now!
I just put my poem down below, and on my blog. 😉 Thanks. Great prompt!
Richard Maxson says
Callie, thanks for featuring my short poem.
For this prompt Here’s one I posted a long time ago for a prompt. I wrote this for my wife on our 8th wedding anniversary.
Slipper
― For Carol Gabrielle
Watching your feet traipse the shoreline sand
that forms itself for a moment like a slipper, disappearing
in the ocean’s wet arc following you, I
know what happens next, the water deepens
around us as we walk, our ankles draped in the last wave’s wet lace,
each step now more a memory beyond the force of tides
than something we do to make our way
in occult and fleeting shoes,
cobbled from a thousand years―you and I
into the brackish air, into the crush of shells.
Shannon Mayhew says
This is so lovely, Rick.
Callie Feyen says
You are welcome, Richard!
This poem is beautiful, and rich in metaphor. What a lovely gift for your wife. Thank you for sharing it with us.
Shannon Mayhew says
Nixie
My girl is a sea sprite.
I’m standing in the surf–
frothy waves shimmer like liquid quartz and jade,
churning circles around my shins.
And she is joy itself, in the form of a child.
She laughs into the breaking waves,
falling into them and allowing them to receive her,
and they push back, holding her up
and offering their own sudsy celebration.
She looks back at me after each leap,
eager to share her bliss as it pours
from its secret infinite source.
Now she splashes towards me
and gifts me with a kiss,
squishy and cold on my salty lips,
before she plunges back into her element.
My feet sink into the silky sea floor
and I am held in the most vibrant of places,
called now, called Home.
Callie Feyen says
Reading this, I am imagining the mother in Suzy Lee’s Wave. I think that, even though she is not in the picture for most of the book, she is watching her girl play, and eventually, calling her mama to come play, too.
You’ve captured a beautiful moment, Shannon. Thank you.
Shannon Mayhew says
Thank you, Callie. I will need to check out Wave!
Katie says
Oh Shannon,
“Nixie” is a poem I can read repeatedly, enjoying the sounds and images:)
The accompanying art on your site is marvelous!
Shannon Mayhew says
Thank you, Katie! I love your list of beach words. They definitely evoke for me many of the things that make my family’s summer trips to the beach special. Hope to see what you do with this list!
Donna Falcone says
Joy in the form of a child. Oh, that is beautiful!
I enjoyed your poem!
Shannon Mayhew says
Thank you, Donna! I’m so happy you enjoyed it. 🙂
Lori DiGisi says
Misty breeze hits your face, filling your spirit with just enough chill to know that you are alive. In the morning, the beach air can be shocking, waking all your senses. You pull your sweatshirt close around you, but your body is awake now, filled with the cool, fresh air and the sounds of waves crashing on the shore. This cold introduction to the day is when you wake up from a situation you’ve been struggling with and finally know what you have to do. It moves you to act, to be, to know that action is key to living a fully human life.
L.L. Barkat says
I like the idea of “just enough chill” and the internal rhyme between “filling” and “chill” and then the echo of their end sounds in “pull”—there’s the beginning of an ocean rhythm and sense there, right inside the word-sounds. 🙂
Callie Feyen says
I agree! Also, I like the use of the second person here. Reading it, I feel it is happening to me (and now I want to walk alongside the ocean).
Kerry Bernier says
Can you tell me the author of the book Wave? I looked it up and I am not finding a match to your description.
Thanks,
Kerry Bernier
L.L. Barkat says
Here’s the book, Kerry. 🙂
https://www.amazon.com/Wave-Suzy-Lee/dp/081185924X/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1532545341&sr=1-1&keywords=suzy+lee+wave&dpID=41t%252B6hKC1JL&preST=_SX218_BO1,204,203,200_QL40_&dpSrc=srch&linkCode=sl1&tag=tweetpoetr-20&linkId=0036b22663022b1b0e83c6807c97c5fd&language=en_US
Donna Falcone says
Because metaphors come from times gone by that we have known in our bones, even if we can’t remember how.
My poem, barefooted, is on my blog with an original image painted as part of the prompt. Here it is without the image. http://www.donnazfalcone.com/poetry/barefooted
Barefooted
It is good
To have gone to the beach
When you were small
And, standing barefooted
At the edge of the sea,
Closed your eyes
Going all off kilter when foaming swirls
Washed away the earth beneath your feet –
So that some day
When the rug is pulled out
You’ll remember,
In a whisper or a rush,
That you survived this once before,
And you will,
By God,
Do it again.
Katie says
Donna,
I sure needed to read this today.
Thank you for sharing🙂
Donna Falcone says
🙂 I’m glad my poem had something for you, Katie. Thanks!
Kerry Bernier says
Thank-you!!!
Katie says
We are just back from the beach.
While there during rainy moments I made a list of things around us:
thunder
lightning
seagulls
paddle board
kayaks
watermelon
cantaloupe
clouds
rain
sea breeze
flip flops
palm trees
wake
sand
vines
grass
sea oats
tea
water
juice
towels
swimsuits
paddles
siblings
bread
oatmeal
niece
nephew
siblings
waves
wind
ocean
beach
sound
waterway
bridge
boats
tubes
dock
pier
porch
rockers
deck
sunshine
blue sky
overcast
bicycles
boogie boards
outdoor shower
garden hose
life vests
I’m looking forward to pulling some items out of this to form a vacation/beach poem:)
Donna Falcone says
It was fun to read your list… so sensory!!! I could almost smell cantaloupe!
I also got a kick out of how the right edges of the words are all wavey if you just look at the shape! 🙂
Katie says
Thank you, Donna:)
I cannot claim to have made “waves” intentionally;)
Here are a few poems ( first two cinquains, second two haiku)
I put together from the list:
pages
turning slowly
bookmark skipping along
sun traverses a blue-gray sky
savor
*****
rain comes
pouring straight down
wets white sand, wets green grass
before we know it, it will pass
shower
*****
Right by my elbow
iced tea glass rapidly sweats
warming, pages turn
*****
chair faced into wind
I comfortably lean back
breeze, book, beverage
Shannon Mayhew says
I especially love these last two haiku, Katie. There’s nothing like the feeling of contentment I get from sitting on the beach, reading, with a cool drink nearby. You’ve captured this feeling vividly!
Katie says
Here is another poem from my beach list:
Rain, Ride, Glide
Thunder woke the neighborhood
shook the house right where it stood
across the channel, light show played
Showers brought the heat way down
lifted our faces, removed all frowns
open garage, pull out bikes
Clouds threatened all around
yet there was time to ride to town
flip the flops off, boat shoes on
Slide the kayaks, grab the paddles
hop in, push off, you’re in the saddle
stroke, stroke current is strong
Gaze skyward at blue above
filled with avian treasure trove
life vests on, sprint and glide.
Not really satisfied with this even after some suggestions and edits – ideas anyone?