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Flash Fiction Friday: The Breaking

By Darrelyn Saloom 32 Comments

Especially on Fridays, we like to play at Tweetspeak with flash fiction. While we’re hard pressed to find a mutually-agreed upon definition of the genre, it’s safe to say flash fiction is a short short story–a beginning, middle, end, with actual development of characters, but done with a minimalist’s dream for word economy. With nothing more to go on than our February “purple” theme, here’s what flashed for Darrelyn Saloom. Maybe you’d like to try?

_____________

Wendell threw the butt of his broken rifle into the river and struck out for home by following the shore. His ruse-of-a-hunting trip had left him emptier than his mother’s passing.

He’d miss her, his disapproving mother. Though his mind did not wander now to thoughts of her lifeless face but to Emilie, his ball and chain.

Emilie’s tilted-back head and half-opened mouth when he’d push inside her set fire to his boots through layers of stink and mud and memories he feared might buckle his knees.

Purple moonlight glowed in ripples across the Mississippi. Lavender raised the sun. Then February surrendered to March, in muddy tracks of what had to be done.

Photo by Luis Argerich, Creative Commons license via Flickr. Post by Darrelyn Saloom, co-author of My Call to the Ring: A Memoir of a Girl Who Yearns to Box.

__________________

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Filed Under: Blog, Fiction, Purple, Short Story, writing prompts

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Comments

  1. Beth Westmark says

    February 22, 2013 at 8:27 am

    Perfect reading on this dark thundery Gulf coast morning. I have a character named Bo Perlis. He and Wendell sound like twin sons of different mothers. Good stuff, Darrelyn.

    Reply
  2. Darrelyn Saloom says

    February 22, 2013 at 8:44 am

    Good morning, Beth. Perhaps Bo and Wendell are brothers! It’s interesting how characters and their names pop into our heads.

    Hope you enjoy your dark, thundery day along the Gulf coast. Keep the doors locked. 🙂

    Reply
    • Beth Westmark says

      February 22, 2013 at 8:45 am

      Will do. Got my Lady Smith close by in case any two-legged coyotes like Wendell show up!

      Reply
  3. Darrelyn Saloom says

    February 22, 2013 at 9:05 am

    Heard that, Wendell and Bo. 🙂

    Reply
  4. Dave Malone says

    February 22, 2013 at 9:05 am

    I’m amazed at how far and deep you take us in just four paragraphs. So many great, tight, chock-full-of-richness lines. Bravo!

    Reply
    • Darrelyn Saloom says

      February 22, 2013 at 10:04 am

      Thanks, Dave. I scared myself when I wrote this one. Spooked again when I responded to Beth’s comment (above). I was joking around and wrote “Heard that, Wendell and Bo” but forgot the question mark. So it came out as W & B answering Beth. Yikes!

      Reply
  5. L.L. Barkat says

    February 22, 2013 at 10:50 am

    I think it would be great fun for someone to pick this up where it left off.

    What has to be done?

    I’ll bet it is different in the mind of each of us.

    Dave Malone, why am I thinking you should be the first taker? 🙂

    Reply
    • Darrelyn Saloom says

      February 22, 2013 at 12:49 pm

      Thank you for your help on the piece, Laura. Agree, it would be fun if my favorite scoundrel emerged from his writing today. If he’s on a roll, he may be gone.

      Reply
      • Dave Malone says

        February 23, 2013 at 11:15 am

        Yes, I was ensconced in some fiction writing…glad that Maureen chimed in. 🙂

        Reply
  6. Maureen Doallas says

    February 22, 2013 at 11:33 am

    A man’s got to act on his purple passions. Not over-talk or expose his hand too soon. Leave himself options. Slow down so as not to give away what can’t be righted.

    Wendell’s old man, running ‘shine in the swamps of Okefenokee during Prohibition, gave him a lesson he never forgot, that he’d need to put to use now. He needed to find that Bible first, though.

    ———–

    Loved this, Darrelyn.

    Reply
    • Darrelyn Saloom says

      February 22, 2013 at 12:54 pm

      Nice, Maureen. I can see Wendell’s old man in your words. I fear they may be too late for Emilie, though.

      Reply
  7. cynthia newberry martin says

    February 22, 2013 at 6:08 pm

    Favorite sentence: Lavender raised the sun.

    Reply
  8. Darrelyn Saloom says

    February 22, 2013 at 6:46 pm

    Thanks, Cynthia. It’s my favorite, too.

    Reply
  9. Carolyn says

    February 22, 2013 at 9:14 pm

    Enjoyed your story.

    Reply
    • Darrelyn Saloom says

      February 22, 2013 at 10:30 pm

      Thank you, Carolyn. 🙂

      Reply
  10. Jack says

    February 22, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    Talk about poignant and succinct. I’m tempted to elaborate, but the disparity between your writing and mine would really stand out…

    Reply
  11. Beth Westmark says

    February 22, 2013 at 10:23 pm

    Why is it these bad boys are so intriguing?

    “Well, now, ain’t love grand. When Bo Perlis chuckled, a nasty sound came out of his mouth, gritty like old coffee grounds. He leaned against the pilings of a fishing dock, boots anchored in sugar white sand. Perlis lit one cigarette from the butt of another, occasionally lifting a small pair of Leica bird-watching binoculars in Grace’s direction for a closer look. He had caught her and ‘his Honor’s’ conversation thanks to a small deer hunter’s bionic ear.

    “Perlis picked his teeth with a mother-of-pearl toothpick he got off a high-roller he knifed in a Las Vegas storm drain under the Luxor Casino. Bo liked souvenirs, and this was one of his favorites.”

    Looks to me like Bo and Wendell are inbred cousins at the very least.

    Reply
    • Darrelyn Saloom says

      February 22, 2013 at 10:32 pm

      Somehow I doubt it. But thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment, Jack.

      Reply
      • Darrelyn Saloom says

        February 22, 2013 at 10:36 pm

        Sorry Jack and Beth. Long day. Left my comment in the wrong spot.

        Beth, I’m intrigued and would love to read more of Cousin Bo. Is this your work in progess?

        I want more.

        Reply
        • Beth Westmark says

          February 23, 2013 at 11:24 am

          Hey Darrelyn — Thanks. Yep. He’s bird-dogging Grace for his boss, Rory Mathis; always has a pint bottle of Early Times handy and hates any type of seafood: fried, stewed or nude. I just hope he and Wendell don’t ever meet — unless they’re adversaries and kill each other off!

          Reply
  12. Jenny Fickey says

    February 23, 2013 at 11:15 am

    I caught a glimpse of the purple moon reflected in Wendell’s crazed eyes, and I am terrified for Emilie.

    I’m impressed by the lasting image you created with just a few words.

    Reply
  13. Darrelyn Saloom says

    February 23, 2013 at 1:22 pm

    Thank you, Jenny. I’m so glad you enjoyed.

    Reply
  14. Sally G. says

    February 24, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Wendell has got to go. The ball and chain just heard, for the umpteenth time, the Dixie Chicks song “Earl”…she gathers up his shotgun and waits by the door. Ha!! Loved the story and really fine job of writing your first piece of flash fiction. Need to continue this story.

    Reply
  15. Darrelyn Saloom says

    February 24, 2013 at 10:38 am

    Now there’s a great twist, Sally. Because Wendell has more than one shotgun. So she plucks one from the rack and waits by the door.

    Reply
  16. Deborah cutler says

    February 24, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    Thanks Darrelynn for introducing me to
    flash fiction. Your words remind me of
    Cormac McCarthy.
    Love You

    Reply
  17. Darrelyn Saloom says

    February 24, 2013 at 2:09 pm

    Wow! Thanks, Deborah.

    Reply
  18. Wendy says

    March 17, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Love this. I’m in the middle of running/judging a flash fiction contest and the short form is a definite challenge and art form.

    I really admire those who can do it well in such a small space. Great work!

    Reply
  19. Darrelyn Saloom says

    March 17, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    Thank you for the kind words, Wendy. You nailed what I enjoy about writing flash fiction: the challenge of encapsulating a story in “such a small space.”

    I look forward to following your flash fiction contest and reading your publication.

    Reply
  20. jordan 11 release date finish line says

    April 27, 2013 at 8:03 am

    A big thank you for your blog article.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on…

    Reply
  21. LeAnne says

    May 8, 2013 at 10:03 pm

    “Lavender raised the sun” my favorite line : )

    Reply
  22. Darrelyn Saloom says

    May 8, 2013 at 10:25 pm

    Aw, thank you, LeAnne.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Iowa Summer Writing Festival: There to Write | says:
    August 2, 2013 at 8:03 am

    […] to Writing Flash Fiction, responded to several juicy prompts, and published some stories as part of Flash Fiction Fridays at Tweetspeak Poetry. This summer, I wanted to up the ante and spend two days writing nothing but […]

    Reply

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