The Art of Immigration

Did you know that our beloved Top 10 Columnist Matthew Kreider is in the midst of moving to Canada from the U.S.? Says Matthew, as he juggles the boxes…

I dream of a world where artists oversee all matters pertaining to customs and immigration, where only Manchego cheese-eating poets ask me to document the contents and value of each box.

“It’s all water,” I’d say. “Who can itemize or assign a dollar amount to something like water?”

He’d rip up Form B4 and move on to the more pressing questions. “What’s Glynn really like?” he’d want to know. “And how in the world does he edit those unruly Tweetspeak Poets?”

He smiles when I promise to send him an autographed glossy of Glynn on his bicycle.

“Oh, and please don’t bother with those immigration forms,” he says. “Just send us a poem after you settle. Or at least some WordCandy.”

Tongue in Cheek, by Matthew Kreider. Photo of Glynn Young used with permission.


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Red #9


  1. L. L. Barkat says

    You are a Tweetpseak poet, Nancy! :)

    This totally tickled me. Um, Glynn. Will you sign my Glynn-glossy? 😉

    Matthew, how do you manage it. Always so amusing, even when you are being stalked by B4 forms :)

    • says

      I’ve already seen a few Glynn-glossies go up on eBay. I don’t care how much money they’re going for … I’m keeping mine! :)

      And, yes – Nancy is so Tweetspeak. :)

  2. says

    This is a kick, Matthew. I love all that is implicit in “The Art of Immigration” – so many ways to take that, twist that, make it our own. Maybe it should be a prompt.

    Wishing you a form-free move to the other Maple State (dare I say Canada really belongs to the U.S.?).

    • says

      I smell a prompt in the air, too. :)

      Form-free would be dreamy. As would telephone-free. Can you guess how many phone calls it takes to export a vehicle?

      Sheesh. And three will be more next week. Not to mention the faxes.

      I’ll just keep my eyes on the Art of Immigration, I guess. Hey, maybe I can work that phrase into every phone conversation next week? Hmm…I’ll inflict poetry on those client reps yet! :)

  3. says

    I’m just now getting to read this! Fun!

    Yes, prompts everywhere. This makes me want to look back when I was 18. I wonder if I could write something entitled “The Art of Naturalization.”

    I’ve been switching my exercise lately: less jogging, more biking. I wonder if the cycling somehow helps Glynn edit those unruly poets.


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